This election has turned out to be a pretty wild ride.
We have witnessed more twists and turns than we thought possible. At various times this race has conjured up feelings of being strapped in the passenger seat, watching several accidents in slow motion.
The rumors of this election becoming more than a 2-car race don’t seem likely to materialize.
Rather, it looks like this election will come down to a choice between 2 very different models.
On one hand, we have the Hillarymobile: a sleek political vehicle poised to hit the road already running. On the other, is the Trump Clown Car: a marvel of media engineering so far from the status quo, it resembles a concept car likely to blow up soon after ignition.
Throughout all the ups and downs, Americans have been tasked with choosing a candidate to support. Most of our collective patience is running on fumes by now, so thankfully the finish line is just around the corner.
This article will continue the driving metaphor, attempting to illustrate parallels between our behaviour on the road and how we may vote.
Before you dismiss this as a somewhat tenuous connection, consider that how one conducts oneself at any moment makes a distinct statement about who one is.
It is very possible that the way you drive reflects the way you think, as well as who you identify with, on both a conscious as well as subconscious level.
Now, with that preamble out of the way, please buckle up and enjoy!
You like to tailgate people
Bullies act the same, whether on the road, or while being watched by millions of people.
You sometimes fall asleep at the wheel
Sometimes you have to show up at work on time, despite suffering from exhaustion or even pneumonia.
You occasionally drive while under the influence
Despite all the evidence, you convince yourself you will drive better while drunk or coked-up. Unfortunately, this logic rarely passes the sniff test.
You struggle with road rage
Life can be pretty frustrating, whether you are stuck in traffic, or during a heated debate. The best advice would be to find productive ways to channel the anger, so it doesn’t leak out of you in dangerous ways.
You sometimes cut corners
We all get sloppy sometimes, but that doesn’t always mean we are criminals. So far, the FBI is not considering pressing charges.
You ignore red lights
On occasion, every one of us gets caught being distracted or reckless. It’s important to remember the worst red light to ignore is the one flashing in your head.
You try to get out of speeding and parking tickets
Finding ways to avoid paying your dues isn’t always the smartest approach.
You stereotype other drivers
Try your best to realize that whether you are Mexican, Muslim, or female, you are not reducible to any specific trait or tendency behind the wheel, or in life.
You leave your signal on by accident
Always try to ensure things are turned off. It will help you avoid great shame and embarrassment.
You like to give other people the finger
It’s usually better to keep your hands on the wheel, or at the very least, in your own pockets.
You crash the fancy car Daddy bought you several times
Those given much should appreciate their good fortune and make every attempt not to lose it all.
You hate the feeling of the wind in your hair
You could put the top down, or finally decide to get a decent haircut.
You cut people off when they have the right of way
Try your best to let other people have their turn. This is one of the best ways to avoid causing yourself yet another accident.
You feel the rules of the road don’t apply to you
Just because you may not get there first doesn’t mean you should ignore the entire system.
You drive a gas guzzler
Those who feel they have the biggest feet need to be the most careful about their carbon footprints.
The conclusion I am driving at is simple:
If you decide not to vote on November 8th, please be aware that you are giving up your right to steer. In doing so, you risk great danger: being the passenger of a country driven by the wrong person.
Either way, I hope the road ahead for all of us is as smooth and pleasant as possible, and I hope you enjoyed the ride!
Simon Trepel, MD