How To Talk To A Hot Chick Wearing Headphones #Stereotype

How To Talk To A Hot Chick Wearing Headphones:

The only advice I can give you on this applies to those in close proximity to a free range chicken farm and also prone to hallucinogenic consumption. If this is you, you are near said place, and notice yellow puffballs bouncing on 2 little orange twigs, AND they are wearing Iphone ear buds?

The peyote is likely kicking in. Lie down for a while, and read the rest of this later.

How to talk to a woman wearing a cowboy hat:

Start with not objectifying her as a cowgirl who would rather ride a cowboy than a horse. If you like her hat because you are truthfully interested in cowboy hats, and not as a can opener to her zipper, let her know. Do not play with your belt like a lasso, implying you could rope her. Do not expect even 7 seconds.

How to talk to a woman jogging by:

If you choose to say “Hi!” loudly, and try to impede her way, remember: You are merely a fleshy pylon. Do not stare at bouncing parts, burning them into files you distort by changing the backdrop. Do not wonder which of the pick up lines- ‘Hey, are you just as athletic horizontally’, or ‘Bet I have better endurance’- will work better. She did not run into you on purpose. Her plan was to find a healthy way to deal. Perhaps to be alone with nature and music. Find it in your nature to get out of her way.

How to talk to a woman walking a dog:

Please see above. Remember that her gender is likely irrelevant to you because she has not invited you into her life merely by walking by.

How to talk to a woman in a dress:

Like any human being with important relationships and places to go that don’t involve you. Do not be so cavalier in how you advertise your loneliness or desperation, if at all possible. Make some friends so you don’t have to displace your intimacy needs onto complete strangers.

How to talk to a woman who is smarter than you:

Listen more than you talk. Learn things about being human and be curious without being sleazy. If you are sleazy, don’t fake curiosity while trying to remember what The Game said to do next. Let her strengths teach your weakness. Remember everyone is smarter than you in some way, and may see things you think you have hidden well.

How to talk to a woman in jeans:

See above. Don’t try to validate yourself in some closed loop of narcissism that relegates complete strangers into litmus tests of self esteem. You don’t need her to look at you to exist.

How to talk to women:

See above. They are just like me. They are just like you. They may be a sister, daughter, aunt, mother, cousin or friend. They have their own stuff going on. They are people. They are human.

Act accordingly.

STMD

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