A Letter From The Future
November 6, 2054
Greetings Citizens of Earth17!
I am so glad this letter from Earth43, found its way to you.
I hope I am using the term ‘letter’ in the appropriate way, as that word was retired years ago, in the Webster Wikipedia Walmart Worldsbook (WWWW).
My name is Shatner2758, and I am transmitting this, over our Electromotive Force Time Space Messenger (EFTSM).
It should be around 2013, your time, but I am not sure, because I had to send this signal, during solar flares, on a few suns.
Yours, and Earth8’s are super fussy, compared to ours.
In fact, your Magnetic Field reversed itself, for a millisecond, around 2016.
Although, at that exact moment, there was a planetary groan when Trump was elected, which may account for such an electrical storm.
But I am probably getting a bit ahead of myself here
(I just can’t resist that stupid joke, every time I send one of these).
I just wanted to let you know about a few things coming your way, in the future on your Blue Dot.
You have just recently cooled your planet, using a process where several holes were dug to the centre of the earth, on each continent.
Using Heat Signature Detectors (HSD), you then determined which objects were producing the most hot air.
Using a fair and Democratic process, you then threw those objects down the holes, destroying them.
In unrelated news, we detect far fewer Politicians and Antivaxxers on your rock in space.
Speaking of Antivaxxers, we are still worried about the various outbreaks that continue to occur on your planet, and have determined the Epicentre to be Californian Celebrities.
You should probably do something about that as soon as possible!
It will be difficult, because these versions of our species seem to have the ability to transmit Misinformed Meme Viruses (MMV), affecting many of your citizens.
The short version, for MMV’s are referred to as Stupid Opinions (SO).
The Alien Invasion of 2044-48 is finally over, and most of your citizens survived.
The war was incredibly difficult, but through that hardship, your planet learned a valuable thing.
There would have been no other way to beat those Alien Insect Space Invaders (AISI), but you managed to band together as a species, and build the Massive Mars Bug Zapper (MMBZ).
We admired the compassion, on your Post War Planet (PWP), in the days following that conflict.
We watched you look at each other and realize, when your collective existence was threatened, you needed to come together.
It was amazing to see how your society has transformed itself, in these 6 short years, to where you are today.
Your abolishment of: Ageism, Homophobia, Sexism, Misogyny, Ableism, Racism, and Transphobia (AHSMART) on your world, has been miraculous.
You should be aware that in these past 6 years, your global family has accomplished more than your entire 6 million year existence.
Way to go!
Oh, and you unfroze Walt Disney just in time, for his last mission.
The one where he led the AISI, to his first and last Martian Theme park, and the MMBZ zapped them into oblivion.
And parents of your World were able to forgive Walt, for brainwashing millions of children, because of his tremendous sacrifice.
Hey I gotta go, but just before I do, just a couple more things.
The Loch Ness Monster was found in 2017, and unicorns have been around for centuries, but keep getting their horns cut off, because they make excellent soup.
And finally, the 4 years Trump was elected President, are now referred to as the ‘Worst Years Ever’, in the WWWW.
I will send you another one of these, in the future.
Simon Trepel, MD FRCPC, is a practicing Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist, in Winnipeg, Canada. He is an Assistant Professor, at the University Of Manitoba, in the Faculty of Medicine, and the Co-founder of the GDAAY Clinic. He is, more importantly, the proud Father of 2 beautiful Daughters. He writes in his spare time about things he knows something about, and occasionally about things he doesn’t; like Yoga, and Italian flavored coffees. Sometimes, he wants to take a break, from this planet.
Check out his Blog, called Simon Says Psych Stuff, at