Transphobia and Autogynephilia
June 5, 2015
We just finished with the conflict and anguish that occurs in many people’s lives, when they tell their family and loved ones that they are Trans.
But there are many other places in society, where conflict appears for Trans people, besides ‘merely’ within their circle of loved ones.
And now we confront Transphobia.
People seem to be capable of being afraid of anything, at least for a while.
Luckily, most of our fears never come true, and the ones that do, usually require your hand to author the plot.
From humanity’s birth to the present, we have been afraid of a lot of things.
IN HISTORIC ORDER:
Scary mysteries of the sun
Treating non pinkish colored humans as equals
And at the present time?
Not being noticed
Luckily, we have been brave enough to watch Ellen, and now somehow laugh when she grinds against a female guest, or her table, by her chair, on her show.
She taught many of us that ‘her people’ are just like ‘our people’, looking for love, friends, and laughter.
So we forgave homosexuals for no crime, and we may all agree that they should be allowed to marry, wherever they want, some day.
Haven’t we been generous enough, to have any compassion left over, for those who are Gender Dysphoric?
Yet Gender Fluid children, in many schools, do not have safe washrooms or change-rooms before gym, and feel exposed.
Cis society divides us up in ways that can be intolerable to those with Gender Dysphoria.
Yet, how difficult is it really, to change signs on doors or re-designate spaces? I remember when there were no computer labs in any schools.
Wikipedia defines Autogynephilia as love of oneself as a woman.
This is revolting to anyone who has been railroaded by its label.
It essentially states that biological males, seeking transition, are doing so to gratify a sexual fetish, where they attain arousal fantasizing they have a female body.
The railroading comes in where the Transfemale is nauseatingly confused for this (intensely homophobic) gay man, whom sometimes kinkifies himself as a female sexual object, so he can get off (without having his climax succeeded by overwhelming guilt, shame, or horror at what got him off).
It in no way describes the overwhelming majority of MTF’s central experience, or reasons for living as women.
These can lie much closer to wanting to have dinner ready when their partner comes home, than anything sexual.
The diagnosis of Autogynephilia is rarely made, but one should always be aware of those passing out the Kool Aid.
The concept was created in 1989, the same year Apartheid started to be dismantled, the Berlin wall collapsed, and Tiananmen Square occurred.
Maybe that was what Marilyn Manson was up to, the Autogynephilia I mean, not those other things.
This particular diagnosis delivers a devastating cargo of emotion sickness.
In reality, we do not get to decide how other people should live their life, provided they don’t ask us, harass us, or hurt us.
There is nobody that you know well enough to convince them that they are not transgender.
Besides, Conversion, or Reparative Therapy, has been found to be dangerous in all forms, when used with LGBTQT humans.
Vomiting our expectations makes a mess. Just because our version of gender is different than someone else’s, does not make love or kindness an optional style of friendship or parenting.
We need to find out who our children, teenagers, and neighbors are, and even if they change, support their growth.
They support us through our relationships, financial problems, bad luck, substance abuse, and other normal life adventures, because they are trying to teach us what love feels like.
Especially our children and teens, who are trying to teach us how unconditional love feels.
It is awesome how they raise families.
Every one of us is a snowflake.
We are all completely unique, fragile, and only a few short moments away from thawing into the ocean.
But, we are also the most complicated and curious bipeds on the planet, perhaps anywhere.
We are the Swiss Army Knives of the universe, who seem to be capable of ANYTHING we set our minds too.
What other species do you know that is manipulating its own genetics, recreating the Big Bang, and starting preparations to colonize another planet?
Since any one of us can possibly change everything, we need to ask ourselves, before we force other people to be pirates or fairies, why they can’t be both, neither, or something even more unique?
Let other people worry about their own gender. We all have enough on our divided plates. To create one more hierarchy seems like a waste of humanity.
And the paradox of here and now is that while we are all unique, we desire the same things.
So, since we are all different, let us all stretch in our own way, and share in all the patterns of human life that are possible. It would make the moral of our collective story deeper, with a much happier ending.
Simon Trepel, MD, with Consultation from Jamie James
Simon Trepel, MD FRCPC, is a practicing Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist, in Winnipeg, Canada. He is an Assistant Professor, at the University Of Manitoba, in the Faculty of Medicine, and the Co-founder of the GDAAY Clinic. He is, more importantly, the proud Father of 2 beautiful Daughters. He writes in his spare time about things he knows something about, and occasionally about things he doesn’t; like Yoga, and Italian flavored coffees. He was not referring to coffee that tastes like an Italian person.
Check out his Blog, called Simon Says Psych Stuff, at